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Saying What Was Not Said

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Firpo Files Flashpoint
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Contributed

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May 29, 2015

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PARAPROSDOKIANS are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected.  That is, the first part of the figure of speech is familiar, whereas the latter part is saying what wasn't originally said. Winston Churchill loved them. Aside from the more traditional figures of speech, others sayings have been tossed in for good measure. 

 

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

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2. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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3. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

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4. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

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5. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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6. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

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7. To steal ideas from someone is plagiarism. To steal from many is called research.

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8. In filling in an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

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9. I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.

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10. Women won't ever be equal to men until they can strut with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they're sexy.

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11. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

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12. A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory.

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13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

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14. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. Nor is there any future in it.

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15. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

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16. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

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17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

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And my personal favorite:

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18. I am not arguing with you. I am explaining why you are wrong.