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"Signs of the Times" (Humor)


Firpo Files Flashpoint

Contributed

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April 5, 2015

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Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."  

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In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."  
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On a Septic Tank Truck: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels."  
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At an Optometrist's Office:  "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."  
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On a Plumber's truck:  "We repair what your husband fixed."  
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On another Plumber's truck:  "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."  
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:  "Invite us to your next blowout."  
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On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."  
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In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."  
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On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."  
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At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet: Miss a car payment."  
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Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."  
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In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"  
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At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment.  

However, if you don't, you will be delighted."  
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In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."  
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In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
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At a Propane Filling Station: "Thank heaven for little grills."  
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Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."  
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And the best one for last...  
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Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck: "Caution: This Truck is full of Political Promises."